The Saitou Revolution and then some
by Saemus McNally
Summary: Kenshin's day is a strange one. Is it because of the Saitou revolution? Special SPPEEECIAL guest appearance by a certain kojirou and nyassu. Also if you can guess which OTHER anime I'm parodying in the middle of this story I'll give you a cookie or a fun


Shounen Kakumei Saitou, or Saitou Starts a Revolution, or Viva La Saitou  
  
Kenshin knew something was wrong when Kaoru saved him the trouble of having to eat her cooking by giving him a bag of yen. Kaoru wasn't this kind. Thats not her style. And Kenshin being a moron kinda liked this Kaoru. But the Kaoru he saw that day, well, she was different. She smiled at him, and BOWED, and didn't yell about a certain chicken head man's pants suddenly showing up in Kenshin's futon. Yes, something was amis. Kenshin thought that maybe he should ask Misao if it was a weird "girly" thing or a certain placement of the moon. Yet Misao couldn't be found. Kenshin was more befuddled. Maybe he should ask Tsubame if she had seen the two women. Luckily for Kenshin, Tsubame was where she usually was. Sitting quietly while Yahiko yelled about how his favorite tabi of all time, the tabi with a monkey embroidered onto the front, has a hole in it. Kenshin eyeing the young turning-into-a-hottie boy as he sat next to Tsubame. Kenshin began to speak giving up the whole possibility of him being a silent protagonist.  
Kenshin-"Ah, Tsubame-dono where have Kaoru-dono and Misao-dono gone?"  
Tsubame - "....anou....ee..."  
The way Tsubame was fidgeting and fixing the folds in her apron and tugging at her ear Kenshin realized that she wasn't allowed to tell. He was about to apologize when he was suddenly struck with a nice heavy zori.  
Kenshin - (as we all would expect)"ORO!!!"  
Yahiko - "TSUBAME! GET AWAY FROM HIM! YOU KNOW THE RULES!"  
Tsubame - "Ha...hai Yahiko-chan"  
Yahiko - "DONT CALL ME YAHIKO-CHAN!"  
Kenshin was now slightly hurt and REALLY confused. Rules? What rules? Had Kaoru told Yahiko and Tsubame that they weren't allowed to talk to Kenshin? Had Kenshin done something to upset her? Was sex with Sano really THAT wrong a thing to do? Well, maybe not the last thing, but the other questions were probably true! Kenshin HAD to find out what had happened. He really didn't like being outcast by these kids. Really, they were great, when they weren't trying to kill or severely maim him.  
Kenshin had begun to follow Yahiko and Tsubame. They hadn't noticed him because Kenshin was wearing a prince costume and walking around with a purple haired man who was wearing a dress and carrying around a talking cat. The young couple had started up a trail Kenshin hadn't noticed the whole time he had lived with Kaoru. The trail was very hard to walk on. Trees crossed the path everywhere and the hardest sharpest rocks he'd ever seen were everywhere. Kenshin was suprised at how well Tsubame took to this trail. It was as if she'd been here before and knew exactly where to stand. It seemed like this trail went upwards, in a spiral like fashion. Somewhere he heard the Koto drums. This whole ambience was geting him a bit anxious. When Kenshin reached the top of this spiraling trail BOOOY HOWDY was he suprised.  
Kenshin - "*as always*OROOOO!!!"  
He looked up into the sky and hanging from god knows what was an upside down Shinto Temple! In front of him was a vast flat land. About twenty yards away stood Sanosuke. He was wearing a bright red courtesan kimono with a green obi with lovely combs in his hair. Chicken head actually looks attractive. Silently,almost inaudable a certain song is played. Arasou no Jouka e.  
Kenshin - "Ah! Sano! Whats going on? Where the HELL are we?....and why are you dressed like a whore"  
But Sano didn't answer. He just turned around. The silence, save the music, was really getting to Kenshin. He moved closer to where Sano stood. When suddenly, the Floating upsidedown Temple EXPLODED! Kenshin immediatly ducked and covered. Such a smart boy,...usually. When he felt it was safe to look up there was no debris, nothing. NOTHING EXCEPT ALMOST EVERYONE STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM!!!! BAN BAN BAAAAAAANNNNN!!  
YES! Kaoru, Misao, Aoshi, Yahiko, Tsubame, Sanosuke, Hiko, Chou, Tae, Sou-chan, Kama-chan, Yotarou and Katsu all stand surrounding Kenshin. The group all coincidentally have similar jackets on. Oddly similar to the Shinsengumi jackets. Only reversed in color and with a Wisteria on the back. They look down at Kenshin. They aren't happy to see him.  
Kenshin - "m...minna...a...a....hello?"  
Sano raises his hand to the sky uber dramatically and lowers it to point at Kenshin right between the eyes.  
Sano - "Bring 'em ta tha masta"  
Crowd - "THE MASTER! THE MASTER!"  
Sano - "*giggle* Bonk 'im on tha head first!"  
WHAM!***********************!!!!!  
When Kenshin finally came to he was in front of a giant alter. An alter in which one Saitou Hajime sat. With Sano resting his head in Saitou's lap, a Sano who's red kimono was sliding off his shoulders and his legs showing. Saitou ran his fingers through Sano's hair which thankfully was washed that morning. In a fun little bathtime smut episode which I'm not going to tell about. Well, maybe not right now. To the story at hand, Kenshin woke up. Saitou is at the alter. Sano is a whore.  
Kenshin - "Saitou?"  
Saitou - "Lovely, you're awake. I'm so glad. I mean a revolution against you wouldn't have been any fun if you were unconcious throughout it."  
Kenshin - "Revolution?"  
Saitou - "Yes, a Saitou Revolution."  
Kenshin - "Why does that not sound good?"  
Saitou - "AAHhhh pretty one of COURSE its good. Good for ME! All over Nihon the people are joining the Saitougumi. Destroying all fan stores, toy dolls, posters, wallscrolls, cds, all things in the name of Rurouni Kenshin are being destroyed. Destroyed just for my giddy pleasure."  
Sano - "*purrrrrr*"  
Saitou - "Good Sano. Yes you're a gooood uke" *Petpetpet*  
Kenshin - "er...yes okay Saitou WHY!? Why are you doing this?"  
Saitou - "Because I'm going to take over the world and enter a new world of happiness, delight, raw anal sex, Ben n Jerry's ice cream, and the best of all.....NO YOU!"  
Kenshin - "YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME!?"  
Saitou - "Good heavens no! You'll just be a brainwashed slave and kept in this dark room for me to use at my will. And believe me. My will is strong."  
Sano - "*PUUUURRRRRRRRR*"  
Saitou - "Heh I know Sano agrees with me on that."  
Kenshin - "What if I fight!? What will you do then!?"  
Saitou - "PSSH! Please. You're no match for me. You've gone so soft since Kaoru kicks your ass everyday that Yahiko-chan could take you easily."  
Kenshin hated to admit it but Saitou was right. As he usually is. He also hated to admit that he really wish HE were the one with his head resting on Saitou's lap instead of Sano. Even though Sano DID look delicious with that falling off red kimono. Well, Kenshin wasn't really sure WHAT to do. If he decided to fight his way out of here, he'd have to fight Saitou. If in the unlikely event Kenshin BEAT Saitou, he'd have to deal with the Saitou Revolution. One man MAYBE he could handle. But all of Nihon? Not likely. The other choice was to become a sex slave for Saitou. To never get a choice at WHEN he got his butt pummeled, to always be at the mercy of Saitou's ...erm...appetite. To succumb to Saitou's every whim. To in any odd event to be placed with countless other mates for Saitou's entertainment. At anytime he could be thrown into an orgy of mansex and oil. To never be able to be with Kaoru the same again. To lose that sacred love they had with each other.  
Well..if you were Kenshin, what would YOU do. I think the answer is pretty obvious.  
Kenshin - "OH Saitou have MERCY on me! I have no choice but to be your slave! I will do thy bidding!"  
Saitou - "This pleases the Saitou.... Let all of Nihon know that....YOU ARE MINE!!! AND I REIGN SUPREME!!!"  
Saitou laughed a mighty sexy laugh. A laugh that was cut off all too soon when. His alter FELL OVER! Spilling Saitou and Sano coincidentally onto Kenshin.  
Kenshin - "YES MASTER TAKE ME NOW!!"  
Sano - "OOOIII!! what tha hell?"  
Saitou - "Yanakanji...."  
Well in place of where the alter was, the alter that lies smashed into tiny peices stood a brassy, beautiful, high class, woman. She was a SIGHT let me tell you. Her hair piled up so lovely and her kimono FLAWLESS. She was also quite pissed. A spark of flame in her eyes as she swung a mighty 1 ton mallet.  
Saitou - "TOKIO!!! I ....I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN KYOTO!!....oh shit..."  
Tokio - "SAAAIIIIITOOOOOOUUUU HAAAAJIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"  
Her roar was so vicious and dominating that it could easily put a tiger or lion in a kitty box for a week.  
Tokio - "You have got some BIG splainin' to do! First I find you left the house with OUT picking up after yourself. Second I find that you've got a little club going. Third I see you've ruined my BEST blankets to make those STUPID Shinsengumi like jackets. FOURTH! I find you covorting down here in this stupid shack that belongs to my grandfather's chickens. FIFTH! You ruined my FAVORITE desk to make this damn chair! SIXTH! You were about to have sex with this ugly redheaded man and this SLUT with bad hair. And finally SEVENTH YOU LEFT ME OUT OF IT! YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE TO WATCH YAOI!"  
Saitou - "To...tokio-koibito....I... I was gonna.."  
Tokio - "DONT YOU KOIBITO ME!! YOU MARCH YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HOME! OR I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT A REAL AKU SOKU ZAN IS!!"  
Saitou looked to Sano and then to Kenshin then back to Tokio. She glared a glare that only Mr. Burns could match and even HE would have struggled. Saitou hung his head in shame. He slowly trodded off to his house. Tokio looked down at Kenshin and Sano. Sano who was weeping that his lover had left. Kenshin who was on the verge of crying because his dreams ALMOST came true and now were being ripped away. Tokio thought how a pitiful pair these two were and she hoped they would never make with each other for what a horrible scene that would make. Especially if RoosterSlut was on top.  
Tokio - "Hey redhead. That ugly loud mouthed broad with the bow in her hair said you should go home now. Or she'll have to cook dinner again. And you Sanosuke. You can play with Saitou again later once he's been punished correctly. Until then I suggest you put some damn clothes on before you get raped again."  
Kenshin and Sano - "Yes ma'am"  
As Kenshin made his way home he thought about the days events. At how at first it seemed rather peculiar, then overly dramatic, then just plain odd, then stimulating, and then scary. He wished days were like this more often. 


End file.
